Psyche…okay this blog is not about the Beach Boys, the topic is a lot more interesting and yet…there is a big WARNING: if you are easily offended by sex talk, don’t continue. After culling through numerous ideas on what to write about this week, one suggestion really peaked (pun intended) my interest. I suppose the idea took root when there was a long string of posts on Facebook that started with poking (again pun intended) fun at a lesbian erotica book that was apparently written by a man. I’d missed the original string and felt left out, so a new flurry of posts ensued that ended with the mention of a vibrator shaped like Santa Claus.
I couldn’t imagine that was real, so I had to Google it. Sure enough, it does exist. I wondered if the texture of the beard would feel nice and of course I posted that comment. Someone responded that a Santa Claus vibrator was not appealing at all because…well…let’s face it…would you want an old man up your hoo ha? I suggested one that was shaped like Mrs. Claus. I don’t think that was particularly pleasing either, but I Googled that just in case. Nope, the sexist little sex shop manufacturers don’t have a Mrs. Claus version.
Anyone who has read my blogs or posts knows that I have a disproportionate need to educate myself and often scurry off to do research (internet or physical). In this instance, I had to Google all the different kinds of vibrators. A worthy cause…I hope you will agree!
I’d already learned about the rabbit from my older sister. Yup, my older sister heralded the virtues of that little toy. Now the rabbit is not a cute fuzzy animal, but a toy designed to stimulate two places at once. A picture is worth a thousand words. The top of the line is apparently the Rabbit Pearl. Hmmm…I wonder how those little rabbit ears feel?
So, in my research here are the most unusual vibrators I’ve found….no joke. The first is called…I kid you not…the womanizer and it claims to suck and vibrate at the same time.
Now I love ice cream and for those of you who share that passion, well guess what? There’s a perfect vibrator for you called the ice cream vibrator. This one is on a key chain. The disclaimer on this little gem is it is more cute and fun than designed to elicit orgasms. If you want a real vibrator and love ice cream, try the IScream vibrator that is shaped like a vanilla ice cream cone with chocolate on top and promises a powerful motor sure to do the trick. Certainly, not for those who have more vanilla tendencies….or is it?
One of my personal favorites is the Dillio inflatable riding vibrator. You can sit on it and ride it at the same time. Ride em cowgirl! Oh, the fun in the pool I could have with this little baby. I wonder what my condo neighbors would say if I dumped this wonderful toy in our community pool?
If you prefer tongue action, well don’t despair because there is the Sqweel 2 that simulates oral sex and the Robo Lick that combines oral sex with penetration
This type is so popular there is a third option, called the Clit Kisser. This one has a vibrating jelly tongue. Wow, I mean just wow.
Want to wake up in the morning and have an orgasm? Well…the Wake Up Vibe is a vibrating alarm clock that you wear in your undies. Oh and it comes in pink, how delightful. Damn….I don’t wear underwear to bed.
So…are y’all sufficiently educated about the different options. I sure learned a lot. I’ve been terribly remiss by not including vibrators as an essential part of my intimate scenes, but if you want to read about what I have woven into to those steamy scenes…you know the drill…click on the links below. I am particularly proud of my newest book, The Termination, not because of the sex scenes, but because of its relevance in today’s political climate.
Amazon link to The Termination: The Termination
Affinity link to The Termination: The Termination