Last week I called upon my Facebook friends to give me topic ideas for my blog and the first one I chose was about vibrators. That was a hoot to write. This week, I scrolled back to the multiple posts with other excellent suggestions and landed on the topic of texting. As with most of the Facebook posts I get sucked into, it started as a suggestion to talk about why someone should have an e-reader and devolved into texting with your index finger.
Well…that got me to thinking, for those of us who aren’t very skilled at texting with our thumbs (I happen to fall into that category), does using your index finger have some kind of side benefit. Could this be a lesbian thing? Should I try to use my middle finger too because that could use some strengthening? Sure, having thumbs that are in tip top shape is probably beneficial as well, but just think about it…index and middle fingers dripping in sweat as you use the hell out of them. I think I need to do a lot more texting to increase my sexual prowess.
After realizing that I use the hunt and peck method of texting, I started to practice with my thumbs. I am serious about having a well-rounded skill set. I can’t just have a talented, in shape, index finger. I’ve got to expand my horizons.
I encourage everyone to get in the groove and start texting like mad. Be like the Millennial generation and make texting your primary mode of communication. Don’t talk with your wife or girlfriend, text them. They’ll thank you for it later. Be sure to alter your method, kind of like when working out on the weight machines. You know legs one day, arms the next. Only when you exercise your hand, use your thumbs one day, index and middle fingers on alternate days. PSA: Don’t text and drive…it’s not worth it, even if it helps you be a sex Goddess.
When I did a google search to pull up pictures to go along with my blog, I came across one that showed a woman texting with her tongue, theoretically avoiding the pitfalls of texting while driving. Hmmm…I kinda think this might be more distracting. And yet…just think of the possibilities there to get that tongue of yours in shape….
Instead of dragging my lazy butt out of bed at 5:00a for a spinning class, I could be ogling lesbians in the newly formed texting class. Oh, my….just look at that woman’s bulging index finger. That’s enough to make any lesbian swoon.
I can see the headlines now…AT & T is reporting an upswing in the number of text messages in a certain demographic…yes, lesbians are sending a record-breaking thousand texts a day after obscure author Annette Mori writes a blog about the benefits of text messages to enhance a person’s skills in the bedroom.
Okay, maybe that won’t happen…but it sure is fun to dream about. Here’s what I do dream about…that everyone who reads my blog buys at least one of my books and one day I’ll have a breakout book that boosts the sales of all the others. If you want to help me realize that dream….you know the drill click one of the links below.
Amazon link to The Termination: The Termination
Affinity link to The Termination: The Termination