Truth is Stranger Than Fiction

I don’t know about other authors, but a little bit of me and my experiences find their way into my books. Sometimes, I’ll get a note from an editor questioning something, thinking that whatever I’ve written doesn’t seem realistic…or doesn’t ring true. On those occasions, I put in a little comment fessing up to either that happening to me, or to someone in my circle of friends.

porn
I was reminded of this on Friday when I unwisely used a large butcher knife to remove the avocado seed. I missed the seed and jabbed the knife into my hand. Blood flowed freely. I immediately stuck my hand under a constant flow of cold water while my wife retrieved the gauze. It hurt. A lot.

knife
So…here’s the thing. When I’m in pain, sometimes I pass out. One minute, I’m standing by the sink waiting for first aid and the next minute I’m flat on my back looking into the concerned eyes of my wife. I don’t remember passing out. I give huge kudos to my wife who did not panic when I was unresponsive for 30-60 seconds.

faint
With our Friday night a bust because, apparently, I hit my head on the wood table and now I’m feeling rather nauseous, I settled on the couch and moaned like the big baby I am. The next day, I crawled out of bed and felt a sharp pain in my ass…a literal pain in my ass.

concussion
So, of course, I went into the bathroom, stood in front of the mirror, and looked at my bare ass. I was attempting to find the culprit. Then, I made the mistake of trying to sit on the couch. That was a bad idea. I woke my wife and made her look at my bare ass. Obviously, she needed to touch it. After palpating the area, she declared, yup it’s swollen. She’s brought me an ice pack and looked up the symptoms for a broken tailbone. It fit to a T.

ass
Our dinner plans went out the window. Instead, my wife drove and got us food. On the way, she bought me a donut. Not the kind you eat. A plastic blow up thingy for me to sit my ass on for the long drive I would need to make on Sunday.

donut
At the time this wasn’t particularly funny…especially the six and a half hour drive back to Forks. It’s not terribly funny at work either. Imagine me sitting on the very edge of my office chair and leaning forward in an attempt to get some relief. I keep standing, but that hurts after a bit of time as well.

not funny
I’ve no doubt this will make it into something—a free short maybe. If I take up writing again and include this into a future book, I’ll probably get an editorial comment about how unrealistic this is. I plan to direct them to this blog!

'Remember that Op-Ed piece you wrote last month?...'
Truth is stranger than fiction. If you think something in one of my books sounds off, send me an e-mail and I can tell you if it’s the work of a deranged author or one of those strange truths! But…you gotta get my books to find those little pearls.

Honest…The Dream Catcher is a super fun book: Dream Catcher   Listen to me read the prologue and 1st chapter of The Dream Catcher here.

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6 thoughts on “Truth is Stranger Than Fiction

  1. OMG…hilarious! Not the part about stabbing yourself, or cracking your tailbone, or the concussion–just to clarify here–but your style of putting it all together. My story would remind you of a cartoon for sure. Walking down the front porch steps to take my partner to a doctor’s appointment, I slipped on a slick spot, one leg went up and out, my body lifted about a foot in the air before gravity brought me down onto the step below…tailbone first, one leg stuck beneath, and then cracked my head on the porch. But what did I do???you ask…well, just got myself up, brushed off the back of my jeans, walked to the car and got in. JJ just stared at me. After debating the pros and cons of my driving 15 miles to her Orthopedic (funny huh), she called to reschedule. I kind of felt like Lucy had pulled the football away as I attempted my kick. I found out 4 years later that my coccyx was rotated and tilted forward, which was why I continued to have issues. Now…getting that corrected is another juicy one!! 🙂 BTW…love this!!

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  2. Oh, Annette, I really am sorry you hurt yourself & I can honestly commiserate with you on the broken tail bone thing. I fell flat on my butt when I was roller skating at the age of 10 and in the 65 years since then I still think about the pain. Hope you don’t think I’m evil but if this whole fiasco wasn’t so serious—it would almost be comical. Oh, well, in another couple of years you will be able to laugh at it. Hope you feel better soon.

    Liked by 1 person

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